If you feel compelled to confront a situation, it is imperative to step forward with a heart of humility and service. (p34)
When we feel compelled to speak up in a particular situation, it is important to understand each nuance as completely as possible. Too often, we blunder ahead and find out that we did not have all the facts. Asking questions is an excellent way to garner information before formulating a plan. It also shows those who are involved that we are interested in their ideas and thoughts. (p35)
When confronted with the dilemma of whether or not to be silent, be sure you have ample information with which to make a wise decision. Ask questions. Listen to the responses. Evaluate the atmosphere of the discussion and whether or not the particular moment is the proper time to share what is on your heart. You may decide to wait for a better time, even though what you are sensing is important. (p35)
In times of confrontation or disagreement, we are most effective when we are motivated to encourage and educate. That is, my motive for sharing is not to convince others, but to give additional perspective and broaden their understanding. When we are caught up in 'proving' something, it often turns into a power struggle. (p38)
Too often, we feel as thought we need to give a quick answer to show how much we know. I am convinced that a person who asks educated, informed questions is the one who will appear most knowledgeable. (p39)
Questions to think about:
- Have I prayed about the situation and for those involved?
- Am I the right person to speak into this situation?
- Am I attacking the person or helping him see a problem?
- Do I have any solutions for the situation?
- Do I need to own some of the problem? What part?
- Am I attempting to exalt myself? Am I speaking in a condescending manner?
- What is my motive for confronting this situation?
- Am I willing to change, to be challenged or to support an alternative decision?
- Am I able to find peace if the situation does not change?
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